Rosetta Stone and Wounds4:49 PM
Is there any obvious connection between those two, you might be asking yourself.
And that is a good question. And a very distinct possibility. One that just emerged into my consciousness as I wrote the words.
Rosetta Stone is a program to learn a foreign language. As of yesterday, I began the Rosetta Stone program to learn Spanish. Brooklyn, August and Dorien sat with me and we went through 3 lessons. We enjoyed it.
My brother Michael is fluent in Spanish and loaned me the program. He actually didn't become fluent using the program, but he was curious about whether it would work for us.
Interestingly, Michael is also the thread connecting both Rosetta Stone and wounds, in my world.
A few days ago, Michael and I were on the phone and in the way that the Holy Spirit has, things fell into place in such a way that my younger brother unknowingly, touched on some very sensitive spots in my heart and spoke straight to them. I know the Holy Spirit was speaking through him, and it was a very humbling, precious moment.
Michael is currently involved in the Thirty3 Bible study at our church, which is a variation of Men's Fraternity (written by Robert Lewis) that Kyle went through several years ago. As part of the process to help men become the MEN God designed for them to become, he has them analyze wounds in their lives. I don't know all the points of the study, but I do know he specifically discusses at least two types of wounds:
The Mother Wound
The Father Wound.
No matter how well-adjusted you are, or how great your family is, there are always wounds, he says. Maybe just a splinter, maybe a huge gash. It's best to identify and deal with all of them in order to be healthy and free from bitterness. Many people have big wounds that have been left untended for years, resulting in bitterness, depression, lack of responsibility, blame-shifting, you name it. They can become gangrene to a person's soul. It's a serious thing.
Robert Lewis was the first person to write a study addressing these wounds and their significance in a man's life and what to do with them. What I don't believe has ever been addressed is the impact Mother Wounds and Father Wounds have on the lives of women. As profoundly as I know they impact men, I believe their impact on women is equal.
And very possibly, unaddressed.
I've seen and participated in studies on strongholds, but I believe this is a very different thing.
A wound is not the same thing as a stronghold. It can be inflicted as the by-product of a generational stronghold, but I don't think it is dealt with the same way. Spiritually-speaking.
In spite of the fact that I know I was raised in an incredible family by two incredible parents, there is no doubt in my mind that I have wounds that affect who I am today. Affect my interactions with those in my life and affect my role as a wife and mother. Dealing with those wounds is something I'm not sure I've ever done.
And as Michael and I spoke the other day and tears welled up in my eyes, it occurred to me that it was perhaps time to begin that process. Not even sure where it was to lead. But knowing that it would be good for me, for Kyle, for my kids and my relationship with my family.
So that leads me to the language connection.
When interacting with an individual who doesn't speak your language, you compensate. Possibly with hand motions, facial expressions, the VOLUME with which you speak (oddly enough), or most practically, with translators.
Languages are tricky, complicated beasts. Full of nuances, exceptions, slang, facial cues and body language. Nothing simple about them. Even a language that is your own can be complicated to navigate. Put two people together who speak different languages and come from different cultures and you are on tenuous ground. Who knows what will be unwittingly said or implied? What offenses innocently committed? Wars have been fought over misunderstandings exacerbated due to language barriers and cultural barriers. Wars both globally and perhaps within the four walls of the house in which you were raised.
This is where I find myself in a state of contemplation.
To what extent are the wounds I bear the result of not speaking the same language with those around me? And I don't mean English.
We speak and act out of the core of who we are. And that core is shaped by experiences, our upbringing, certain social norms, the time period in which we grow up, our socio-economic class, our education, our faith, our expectations, our perception of the world, our insecurities, the strongholds we are affected by, and in turn, adopt, as well as wounds inflicted on us by others.
In short, we each bring a language to the table.
We too often assume the language spoken by our parents or our siblings is the same as the one we are speaking. And vice versa. And this is where wounds are inflicted and wars begun.
What if, instead of just identifying the wounds and coming to terms with them, you prevent re-wounding by learning the languages around you. That seems to make sense to me.
It seems clear to me that examining the wounds themselves will require honesty, introspection and sifting through some bad, unwanted memories. Then comes forgiveness and grace. As God is so liberal with his grace and forgiveness towards us. It needs to be said. It's too easy to cling to the injustice of the wounds without extending grace and forgiveness. And that accomplishes nothing.
The next step is identifying the reasons behind those wounds. Which brings me back to languages.
One thing that is crystal clear is that there is a Relationship Enemy. Satan. Coincidentally also God's primary enemy. If God creates relationships and desires for them to be parallels with the relationship we can have with Him, then it makes sense that his enemy will attack and attempt to undermine, destroy and poison every relationship he can. Wife to husband. Mother to child. Father to child. Sibling to sibling. In order to bring pain to God and to those God loves. You. Me.
And here's where it just gets frustrating. Because not only do we end up speaking different languages than our parents and siblings, Satan interferes by further distorting the message and twisting it into outright lies. Talk about a translator with a hidden agenda. Don't believe a word he says.
And yet we do. We misunderstand due to a "language barrier" and Satan turns it into a different message ENTIRELY once it registers in our brain.
The recognition of these things is critical, I think. What things?
1) the wounds themselves
2) the reasons behind them
3) Satan's further interference
It isn't something that can be tackled in a 15 minute window. And it doesn't leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Rather, vulnerable and scarred and flawed. But, I believe, if we address these wounds and begin working on learning some new languages, perhaps....just perhaps...we will find our wounds healing, fewer new wounds being inflicted (both ways), and possibly restoration between battle-weary family members.
Lucky you, my sweet reader, to be present as my brain works to make connections between wounds and language and simultaneously begin attempting to uncipher the implications in such a connection.
It must be a Wednesday.