My vinca is in full bloom with purple blossoms springing forth. And if you look very closely in the center of the picture (I was afraid to get too close), the first bumble bee of the season found a flower and its nectar.

I have thoroughly enjoyed our longish winter and its accompanying cold weather and grey days. I really thrive on those days, but I am also excited about the new season of green and growth and possibility. 

I'm almost embarrassed to tell you this story, but without the story, there is no follow up.

The Monday morning our chicks arrived, it was raining. Despite our best efforts, water was tracked into our house and onto the tile floor.  And then to get the chicks all set up, we were running back and forth upstairs and down. 

On one of my treks upstairs, I was heading purposefully into my kitchen, just about to get to our baby gate which keeps Singer from roaming the house when it's rainy (and her paws are muddy), when my rubber-soled tennis shoe hit a wet slick and my feet literally FLEW out from under me. I went from vertical to horizontal in approximately one second. My feet actually hit and knocked out our baby gate and my lower back/tailbone smashed into the ground without any time for my hands or arms to fly back for support.  I didn't hit my head on the floor but I did hit the floor so hard I thought I was going to be sick. In addition to my normal level of nausea, I really thought I was going to throw up and then black out. I got super hot and ripped off my sweatshirt. Then I put my head between my knees and evaluated just how hurt I was.

My first thought was, "Oh my gosh, I hope the baby's ok!" 

My second thought was, "I think I just broke my tailbone."

I texted my midwife who assured me my baby was well insulated in the womb and was more concerned about my back.  I was in excruciating pain, especially if I bent over or tried to pick up something or move something...all things I was attempting to do and nearly crying with pain.

Long story short, I ended up visiting a chiropractor for the first time in my life! 

He wasn't able to do an x-ray to see if anything was broken, but since I had no real trouble sitting, I figured it probably wasn't actually my tailbone, but some other part of my pelvic bones. Or maybe just a really badly bruised muscle. He was able to perform 2 tests on my back to check functionality of the spine: the first test looked at the temperature up and down and on either side of my spine; the second test evaluated muscle tightness up and down and on either side of my spine. 

The result showed that my lower back and my neck had serious issues.  I sort of knew this, as my neck and shoulders always hold all the tension I carry and I tend to get odd cricks in my neck. And my lower back has been irking me in the past few months.

With those as starting points, he further evaluated my spine and alignment and we talked about ways to support my spine with this particular injury and throughout my pregnancy, if I so desired.

After thinking about it, that seemed like a really good idea. I had horrible back pain throughout much of my pregnancy with Dorien and I was willing to try to alleviate that via proper alignment of my spine.  And he could feel that my pelvic bones (from the back, anyway) were skewed. One side jutted out, when they should be level. I should also FYI here that this particular doc specializes in pregnant women, which made me feel like I was in good hands.

Which brings me to the back cracking.

Having never been adjusted, I was totally unaware of what was coming when he had me lie down on the little table.  He moved my legs in different directions, had me cross my arms and then leaned over me and KER-CHUNK! Things cracked and crunched sickeningly. Yet I felt no pain, and in fact, it felt instantly better!

He did this several ways and each time, there was crunching and popping and relief! Then he moved to my neck and I swear he broke my neck twice and it didn't hurt at all. It was THE craziest thing I have ever experienced in my life.  It is bizarre that I was able to get up and walk away unscathed after such crackings and crunchings and poppings emanated from my precious spine!

The caveat to my even seriously considering a treatment plan with a chiropractor was payment. If this was something that wasn't covered by insurance, we were a no-go.  I hated the pain I experienced during Dorien's pregnancy, but I coped. And I could again, if necessary.  I wasn't willing to fork over lots of money for this, since I wasn't currently having any problems (other than my big fall).

I was delighted to discover that insurance covers it all, minus a co-pay! So, I'm officially now seeing a chiropractor a few times a week which will then become every few weeks and then once a month till this baby is born.  Hopefully we'll get my spine in alignment and able to adapt painlessly to the changes pregnancy brings to muscles, bones, etc.

Meanwhile, I continue to boggle at the sounds my spine makes. And this past Monday, as my kids watched, it was plain to see their minds were also boggled. They couldn't wait to tell Daddy how they'd seen Mommy's neck get broken TWICE by this doctor! And how I didn't even cry! It was awesome!

As a sidenote to my story, I referred my brother, Josh, to this same guy. Josh has had back issues for years. Two years ago he had back surgery and seemed to be fine, until a few weeks ago when his nerves began twanging in pain.  He's been seeing the chiropractor for just a few visits, but has already experienced huge relief in his pain level and increased mobility overall. He is so excited, and I am too! 

There may be more to this back-cracking than meets the eye....

Many who know us have been secretly casting bets on when the next baby announcement would be made by me and Kyle.  I know some of you were looking at Dorien and thinking, "any day now....".

That day is now!

Hi, I'm Ashley and I'm expecting Baby #4. Praise the Lord!!!

I'm currently 11 weeks and a few days and that puts me due around October 12.

Which is wonderful for me because I love the month of October - it's also my anniversary month! And conveniently, not the birthday month of any of my other children. It is the birthday month of several of my sisters-in-law, nephews and relatives, but as many people as I call family, it's pretty hard to find a blank month to call your own.

If you're wondering how I'm feeling - let me sum it up for you in one word. 

AWFUL.

I have been extremely nauseous since the first day of my sixth week, have been throwing up multiple times daily, and have found myself averse to every type of food I previously loved. I am currently trying really hard to pack the food I can tolerate into the most nutritious forms available, but I'm also thankful that I only likely have a few more weeks of this misery.  This may be TMI, but I've thrown up so much my throat is raw and I'm pretty sure I damaged my esophagus last night. 

My food of choice right now is yogurt, granola and fruit. I keep a bowl of frosted mini wheats beside my bed for when I wake up in the middle of the night nauseous. Oh yes, there is no let up. Not for a moment. 

We are still sticking to our plant-based diet plan, and I'm excited that my nausea should wear off right about the time fresh fruit and veggies will be available! None of that really sounds good to me now, cause really nothing sounds good to me now, but I have every hope that in time, that will change! 

My poor kids just recently found out I was pregnant, thus explaining why mommy's been so oddly sick the last 5 weeks. Now, they're sympathetic and excited at the same time.

We're still planning to be surprised by this baby's gender and I am planning another home birth! 

My midwife this time around is a fantastic woman named Amy Cefalo who happens to have 6 kids of her own, homeschools, had home births with her children and in addition to being a strong fellow Christ-follower, she is a good friend. I so look forward to sharing this experience with her!

Oh, and I do know that it's just one. No twins this time.

We would welcome your prayers for a healthy, safe pregnancy and a healthy, whole baby. 

And I will most definitely keep you posted!

I've been reading my friend Carol's blog and she's written several times lately about her father and the legacy he passed along to her family.  She lost her father to pancreatic cancer 10 years ago, and her memories, and her Dad's legacy are truly beautiful. Very thought provoking. 

I remember her Dad well.  Her family grew up only a few streets away from mine, and her mother and mine were best friends. We were also raised in the same church.  Carol is a few years younger than me, so while I saw her frequently growing up, our paths didn't truly begin to cross as friends until we were adults.  But I have many memories of her parents.

I remember her Dad's contagious laughter, and I think Carol got that from him.  I remember hearing him play the piano, just as she talked about. And I remember the freshly baked bread. YUM! 

But as makes the most sense, I have more memories of her mother being around while I was growing up.  I know her mother was an important friend to my mom over the years. Which brings me to the subject of this post.  The Things We Choose.  

As a woman, we make choices. As a mother, we make choices. Daily, hourly. Minute by minute. What to spend this hour doing. What to do while the kids nap. Obviously, the list is endless. The possibilities are endless. But for each woman and mother and wife and person, those choices must be made. And they're different for each person. I find it interesting, however, how the choices we make affect the choices our children will make when their day comes.

I know this to be true because I look at my mom and many of the choices she made and I find myself making similar ones.  Thinking about Carol and her family reminded me of how my mom, as a stay at home mother to lots of young children, made some distinct choices to both preserve her sanity and maintain her physical, emotional and spiritual health.

My mom didn't homeschool her kids, so her days looked very different from mine in many ways. But in other ways, she made time to fit in certain things that I find myself also fighting to make time for. 

I don't know how many days a week this took place, but I know that at least a few days a week, for years on end, my friend Carol's mom would come over to my mom's house in the mornings while the kids were off to school and they would exercise together. And pray together.  I must have filed this piece of information away in my mind. I didn't grow up in a family that went to a gym in the evenings, largely because my mom fit her exercising in during her mornings. And she coupled it with quality spiritual time with a dear friend.

How valuable that decision was! Even as a kid, I deduced several things from her choices: 1) fitness was important to her - and she always looked amazing! Much better than any other moms we knew! 2) she knew the value of deep friendships with women in similar life situations. You need that for moral support and sanity! 3) having another person share in your prayer time kept you spiritually accountable to someone - and in the Word. Always a good choice. 

My mom continued this pattern with her friend for years, until circumstances moved her friend away. And I remember this breaking my mom's heart. But to this day, she maintains a solid friendship with Carol's mom. I love that.  And to this day, my mom makes exercise a priority. I love that too. And it goes without saying that my mom makes her spiritual walk with the Lord a priority. She is a prayer warrior of the highest echelon. She made it a priority to find time to spend with the Lord when the kids were napping or at school, and this became a pattern that has blessed her and now has been passed down as an example to me.

Although in lots of ways, I make different choices from my mom, just as she made different choices from her own mom when her day came...I find myself culling through the choices she did make and adopting those as my own.  

Since I homeschool and my mornings are full, I am not able as easily to get together with friends to work out during my mornings, so my husband and I go to a gym in the evenings and we work out together almost daily.  Physical fitness is important. And key to my sanity! And I know my kids are picking up on this too.

And I have been blessed with key friends, Emily in particular, without whom my life would be dry and lacking.  Very few of them live close enough to pop over several times a week, but even daily or weekly conversations where we hash out our daily struggles and prayer needs and commit to praying for each other - this uplifts, encourages, rejuvenates and drives me on with renewed purpose.  I envy my mom that she had that daily time with her dear friend. I had that for awhile and found it so valuable. For now, though, I am grateful to have the friends and to know they are there and praying for me and going through what I am at the same time. And I choose to fight and pray over and cherish these friendships.

Spiritually, my mom left a deep legacy of choices that I may always measure myself against and be found wanting.  But I have that standard and it challenges me. She takes long, daily prayer walks (for which I reap the benefits!!) and right now, I don't have that much time. But I do pray constantly and do my best to spend quality time with the Lord during my kids' nap times. And my children are being raised to know the Lord and love Him. They believe in the power of prayer and that their prayers are important to God.  They are being taught the Truth and to understand that there are many choices we make daily that define our hearts and lives.  Our lives definitely revolve around our love for and commitment to serving our God, although I know in a thousand ways we could be better.  

I know so much of parenting is a matter of grace - God's grace through me, in me, protecting my kids from the mistakes I make.  I do not profess to have any sense of mastery at this. I struggle daily as many of you do. I lose my temper and raise my voice and pop my kids when they repeatedly disobey.  I wish I were the picture of calm and maternal grace, but that is not always the case.

Fortunately, I have been blessed to have watched some pretty amazing women, my mother and Darlene included (Carol's mom), raise their families, making choices along the way and while imperfect, their choices included a heavy reliance on a strength-giving, grace-giving, all-sufficient God whose love shone through them into their families and has resulted in far- reaching legacies of faith, physical, spiritual and mental health and enduring friendships.  I hope the things I daily choose will reap the same long-term rewards.

Our brooder is no longer this full. We have distributed 10 to my brother and 6 to my neighbor, leaving us with 11. Murray ended up sending us an extra, free Rhode Island Red and I have 1 more than I intended, but in case we lost one, I thought it would be good to be on the safe side.

Now, the next phase begins - coop construction. This is where the rubber hits the road. Kyle and I have zero construction skills, but fortunately we have brothers who do and who have the tools we can borrow! I'll keep you posted, but for now, let me say that this has been a very exciting week around our place!!

I go through spurts in my cooking. I have weeks of inspiration and weeks of utter drougnt.

I've been in a drought lately.

Nothing sounds good. 

On a whim this evening, I checked out one of my favorite cooking blogs - Love and Olive Oil, and did a recipe search.

It could be cause I'm hungry right now having spent 5 hours this afternoon at my mom's doing my taxes and eating nothing other than M&M's which are so not good for me (or filling). 

But just check out these scrumptious recipes that I found...maybe you're searching from some dinner inspirations and these will come in handy!

Artichoke Heart, Olive and Goat Cheese Pizza

Quinoa Cakes with Lemon, Olive and Parsley

Tuscan Tuna and Bean Sandwiches

Honey-Roasted Carrot and Quinoa Salad

Meyer Lemon Macadamia Nut Tart

Pumpkin and Ricotta Stuffed Shells

Weeknight Lo Mein

Pumpkin Ravioli

Thai Green Tofu Curry

Butternut Squash and Coconut Curry

So, food for thought. Or thoughts for food.

Bon Appetit!

For the past 6 1/2 days, I've been at our Farm with the kids. Kyle went to Austin for South by Southwest, and since he was gonna be gone so long, I decided it would be a good opportunity to relax at the Farm. Take an early Spring Break. Another perk of homeschooling.

You can take off whenever you want! 

I managed to catch up on lots of photo album and baby book backlog (I'm a full 2 years behind...), do some tax prep work, read 3 books, sleep lots, watch a few movies, and just enjoy some downtime with the kids.

There is something ridiculously peaceful about our Farm.  The stillness, quiet, meadows and their shifting shadows. The wide open sky and the variety of clouds that crawl across them.  The sunsets...the sunrises...and the stars...man alive, the stars. They are vivid and electric and astounding.

I also enjoyed not budging for that many days in a row. And, aside from a visit from my Grandmother, not seeing another soul apart from my offspring. 

I splurged on a box of Peppermint Bark Dove Ice Cream bars at the local Wal-Mart. I don't know when I've done that, ever! I bought the kids a box of Edy's Fruit Bars and they were as delighted as I was about my grown-up treat.

I also discovered my new favorite breakfast: Kashi 7 Grain Cereal + Plain Yogurt + Frozen Berries! HEAVEN in a BOWL!

Singer managed to not run off, although her explorations took her further afield than I would have liked. If she got too wandering, I would just crate her for a bit. That seemed to work. 

I didn't end up riding 4 wheelers (or 4-Weirds, as my kids call them), because I was too lazy to walk down to our big yellow barn and maneuver one out.  I did attempt to start one up from my Uncle Ed's garage, but it was an older model and I'm a little embarrassed to say I couldn't figure out how to put it in reverse and back it out of its garage. It clearly wasn't meant to be. 

The kids did ride their mini-versions all over the place. They read books. They built block men and towers. They played cars. They played paper dolls. They colored and drew.  They swung and ran around and acted like kids. They picked flowers and watched bugs. They chased Singer. They argued and bickered over whose turn it was to drive Dorien around in the Barbie Jeep. They even got a little dirty. 

Kyle flew back from Austin yesterday and we drove back from Monticello yesterday. It is SO good to be back with him, as wonderful as our break was. There is just a hole when he's not with us. He took the rest of the week off so we could have a shared Spring Break, to an extent. 

It's good to be home. But it is also very good to have a home away from home to frequent from time to time.

I hope you've had a wonderful week, too!

I walked into the nursery today and found 3 wasps (of two different varieties) lolling about on the hardwood floors. They each had a bit of dust bunny attached to them, making me wonder how exactly they got into the room. They were in that sluggish, it's still too cold to be awake yet mentality which made them extremely easy to squash with my foot.

Oh yeah. No mercy on Goshen. Not to wasps.

I detest wasps.  And they, on the other hand, love love love this house.  

I don't know if it's the red brick. Or the many cracks and crevices they are able to find to burrow into and build their creepy homes. But as soon as the weather hits about 55, they begin to stir.

When we first moved into this house 7 years ago, there were no storm windows and just the original wood double hung windows that had plenty of holes they squiggled into to find their way into my house. I have always hated flying bugs that sting, and can as yet, find no good reasons for wasps to exist, period. 

And when they chose my nursery, of all rooms, to congregate, it was a full on war.

I have since had storm windows put on the exterior of all my original windows and it has cut down considerably on their access to my house, but there are still a few points they manage to squeeze through.

Immediately after finding the three on the nursery floor, squashing and flushing them - taking time to point out to Dorien that these were mean, bad bugs (in case he found them and thought they were little toys) - Dorien came running to me saying, "Mommy! Eeewww!!! Ucky bug!!!" Sure enough, there were two more on the floor of my bedroom.  DAD GUM IT!

So it begins. The first hints of spring on Goshen.

There are weeks when I am perfectly content to go for days...I should really go so far as to say there are months when I am perfectly content to go for WEEKS without seeing other souls. I say that as though I wander the lonely halls of my house in solitude when that's not quite the truth.

 My halls are full of little people and a big Golden Retriever and piles of laundry and I rarely ever am truly alone. And we do go to the gym regularly. I think this largely explains my contentment with my faux-solitude.  My mental and emotional faculties are maxed out without ever adding any other humans into the mix. And then, of course, there is my husband who somehow manages to have a total revitalizing effect on me, in spite of being another person around. Funny how love works like that! 

And then comes a day like today when all in one 24 hour period, I am surrounded by people from morning to evening and find myself thoroughly enjoying it. I do that in small doses, however.

Today started out like our typical Sundays - early and rushed because none of us like to get out of bed at all, really. And we have to be at church to work in the nursery first service, and since I'm the nursery hallway coordinator, TECHNICALLY, I'm supposed to be there 30 minutes earlier. Ha! 

But we made it, and just in time, as our hallway was FLOODED with babies. In the nursery class that I usually end up assisting, there were 14 babies - envision a room full of what are essentially semi-mobile puppies roaming about like needy grubs, mouths drooling, noses running, alternately wailing and playing. I'm not sure what's going on at our church, but our attendance in the first service nursery hallway is on a steep incline, and I'm sure each Sunday, I earn a new grey hair. 

I love serving in the nursery, I really do. Kyle and I have served in the nursery for over 7 years now, and we have been so blessed. We make great friends, meet new parents, acclimate little babies (and often their parents too) to our nursery world, grow to love each and every little one we have and then watch them move around our hallway as they get older. It's a great thing! But it's been a tad stressful lately.

So I started out covered up with babies and parents and classrooms.

Then, as many of you know, today Little Rock was host to a Marathon, and I had a friend running a 10-K and another running the marathon. I've mentioned before on this blog that I am part of a ladies' group that meets periodically, and one of our gals recently took up running and did the 10K (plus a few extra miles) and we had an after-party to celebrate her accomplishment.  Long story, but she trained for the half-marathon and her entry was botched. 

Our ladies' group (plus spouses and kids) met up for brunch at one of our houses, and it was wonderful! Despite being a most diverse group of women from all different backgrounds, we have the best time together and even our husbands and kids get along well.

Immediately following our After Party, my dear friends John and Sarah and their sweet kids, Sam and Lily, met us back at my house when John completed the marathon! They live in Ft. Smith and really wanted John to be able to take a shower before driving back home. It was so wonderful to see them. It's been ages since we've really spent quality time with them, and it always feels so comfortable to be with them. We made sure John was nourished and recovering from his physical ordeal before sending them home.

It was a very good, fulfilling day.

And that is all without even mentioning the most important part! 

Today is Dorien's 2nd birthday!

My little precious baby is two.  Coincidentally, my midwife friend, Holly was at our After Party brunch and she and I relived his birth (via story) in the kitchen. She told me how she got nervous when I was delivering him because at one point, as my body progressed so rapidly, propelling him out the birth canal, his heartrate dove. About a minute later, he was born, and things were fine. But it's not often that births go so quickly and it was a little alarming. 

And he is the light of my life.  He adores me and I him.  He still sleeps with me and Kyle and is a super cuddler. He tells me he loves me and kisses me with a fishy-face and then hugs my neck tightly. He has a charming grin and can be quite impish. He's funny and strong-willed and tender, too. He loves his Boopwin and August and every day enjoys being a part of their play world more and more.  He loves to see himself on iPhone videos. He loves to look at pictures on my iPhone. He is bossy to Singer, and is convinced she'd make the perfect pony if only I'd let him ride her. He also loves to rub blankie silkies like August and I do. I'm sure I had nothing whatsoever to do with that... As you can see in the pictures, he also got a big boy short hair cut this week! 

I'm so blessed. With opportunities to love and take care of 14 babies at church, sweet friends (new and old)  with whom to celebrate life's accomplishments, and precious children who enrich my life in countless ways.

My cup truly runs over.

And now Dorien has an elephant lunch box to make his little world complete.