Tales from Goshen: Home birth

The Story of Wilder

About 6 weeks ago, I sat down with the intent to update this blog. I started a draft that got sidelined and is now being re-worked into multiple posts to better share with you the crazy intense year that has been 2016!

When I started writing the post, I was 39 weeks and a few days pregnant. Which was the most pregnant I'd ever been in my life! All my children were born at either 39 weeks or 38 weeks.

In keeping with the pace of this year, this baby took his time - drawing things out with a certain amount of drama and anticipation. I would have expected nothing less. God has used pretty much every day of this year to teach me to rely wholly on Him, His timing, His control. I have a history of wrestling with God over control. This year, I may have fully surrendered on that front, as God has tested and retested and then tested yet again to see whether I really learned the lesson.

As I explained to my sister, Rachel, every day this year has unfurled slowly and deliberately, almost like a cartoon image of a page being turned oh - so - slowly by an unseen hand.

This pregnancy was no different. I couldn't rely or plan on anything for certain. I wasn't sure where we'd be when I delivered the baby...I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to have a home birth (this baby stayed breech up to close to the very end)...and then I went past my due date, which was a new experience for me, so it felt like I really might not ever HAVE a baby.

I have heard that the more pregnancies you have, the more accommodating your womb is - size-wise. My 4th child, Wyeth, was breech until the day before I went into labor. This little one was breech until about 38 weeks. In fact, my midwife manually turned the baby twice, Kyle and I did moxibustion and inversions, I had a prenatal massage to loosen up anything that might be tight, and I even manually turned the baby myself one night. Which, contrary to what you might have heard, is not painful. Or rather, my personal experience is that it's not painful when done by an experienced midwife...or myself.

In addition to the breech issue, I had several false starts with this baby. I would wake up with regular contractions in the middle of the night that just faded away. My sister-in-law, Melissa, was due pretty much the same time as me, and she also went a week over her due date. She delivered early early on a Thursday morning, and interestingly, we were both having contractions the same day. Hers just was the real thing, and I think mine were sympathy contractions!

Exactly a week later, on October 20th, I experienced my "real thing."
I had been praying and hoping that my labor would begin with my water breaking, because that's the way my labors began with Dorien and Wyeth and they were both pretty nice, short labors. It helps when that water breaks first. Also, I never "drop" like a lot of women. I carry my babies high, until that water breaks and then they plop down into the pelvic bones and engage. I can't tell you how many people commented on how high I was carrying.

As I mentioned in my previous post, a move to Chicago was in the works, and I was in a limbo state of packing, but not really packing in earnest, because things were still up in the air regarding the sale of our house. But the Wednesday night before my labor began, August, Dorien and I hit the library hard - boxing up row after row of books. We made such great progress, and I think in the back of my head I suspected it would be good to make that progress since I could have a baby very soon.

Sure enough, at 3:15 am Wednesday night, while sleeping soundly, I felt a sharp pain that woke me up. My water has broken before with a loud "POP" (Dorien's birth) and a silent gush that startled me awake (Wyeth), but never a sharp pang. I got up to go to the bathroom and it was like a gallon of water poured out. I am not exaggerating. I knew I had a lot of amniotic fluid in order for the baby to be flipping as easily as he was, and I was right. There was so much of it, I stood in the tub to catch it all. Then, I grabbed a towel and waddled down the hall to alert Kyle. It was the real thing!

I called my midwife, Mary, who asked if I was having contractions (no), and told me to call her in about 30 minutes with an update. In the interim, I called my best friend, Emily, and alerted her. She was going to be present during the birth, and had a bit of a drive to our house. I texted my friend, Holly, a midwife apprentice who's been at 4 out of my 5 births. I also called my parents so my Dad could come get Wyeth and Dorien. Brooklyn and August wanted to be there for the birth. Kyle turned on my Penguin Cafe Pandora station as our "mood music."

My contractions began around 3:45, and they were not bad. My friend Emily arrived, followed closely by my midwife. Mary set her stuff up and I relaxed between contractions, chatting with Emily and Kyle and the kids. Holly showed up around 5:40. The contractions were never more than 50 seconds and never incredibly intense. I stood up almost the whole time, just circling my hips and relaxing my body. Kyle and I were totally in sync, and it was a beautiful experience. I felt so connected to him. I also just felt surrounded by love - I had my husband, two of my dearest girlfriends present, my trusted midwife and two of my sweet children. It felt blissful.

I can honestly say that at no point did the contractions feel really intense. They were all pretty moderate. It was truthfully, a blend of pleasure/pain. I didn't mind them at all. And suddenly, around 5:40, I started feeling an urge to push, which seemed quick. My midwife checked me and I was more like 5cm - not fully dilated - which was disheartening and frustrating because I really was feeling that pushing urge! What was I supposed to do? And at the same time, the baby's heartrate dropped. They weren't sure whether there was cord compression or what...given the amount of flipping the baby had done, it could be anything. I think they had this mental picture of the baby being all tied up in the cord.

Mary and Holly had me get into a different position - hands and knees on my bed, face down on the bed, bum up in the air - basically to shift the baby out of my pelvis and hopefully remove pressure from whatever was being compressed. Mary had me hold that position for about 7 minutes, during a few more contractions, using her fingers to fully dilate me during the contractions. It sounds awful, and she kept apologizing, but it really wasn't bad. Since there was no baby head pressing down during the contractions, it wasn't painful. I just had to concentrate on fully relaxing my body - and I had a sense of peace that things were going to be fine. My past three deliveries, there has always been a drop in heartrate because my labors happen so quickly, the baby is rushed through the birth canal.

Pretty soon, Mary said I was fully dilated, and I could change positions. Good! Because I really had to pee! I raced to the bathroom, emptied my bladder and immediately had the urge to push. I think I made a sound that alerted everyone, because in 2 seconds, the bathroom was filled with people! Kyle standing by me, Mary kneeling in front of me, Holly crouching beside her, Emily against the wall snapping pics with Holly's phone, Brooklyn and August peering around the corner quietly. It was pretty funny seeing everyone crammed into such a tight space!

I stood up, over the toilet, and I remember registering the thought that I hoped this baby didn't fall into the toilet! Mary was taking care of that, though, as she draped a blue chux pad over the pot. I supported myself with one arm on the window ledge, one arm on the cabinet beside me and I focused on Kyle who was whispering encouragement to me. Meanwhile, in the space of that one half-push, Mary said, yep, we have a head. I could not have been more surprised! How was that possible? I tried to relax and not push the whole head out, but let it ease out. I scanned my body and felt ok, like I could rest for second. So I did. Then, I gave one big push, and on Thursday, October 20, 2016 at 6:02 am, out slithered a little body! A quick glance told me that it was a boy! What do ya know?

He was big and healthy and squawking immediately. He was beautiful. Born exactly 2 hours and 45 minutes after my water broke. Not a bad way to deliver a baby.

We named him Wilder Eames.
The middle name is pronounced Aimes...not Ee, like the designers.

He weighed 9 lb, 8 oz. and was 21.5 inches long.

Feels like our family is complete. One beautiful daughter and four handsome sons.

I could not be more richly blessed.
Praise the Lord for such an overflow of blessings.

The Story of Wyeth

baby 8:29 PM

The story I am about to tell you is one that I have been waiting to tell you for months now.

Waiting for it to unfold so that I would know how to tell it. So that I would know myself how it ended.

Or begins, as is the true nature of these stories.

For this is a story of a beginning.

One of my favorite books begins with the words, "All children mythologize their birth..."

That won't be necessary in this case, because every second of this birth, and each of the others I've been privileged to experience, are etched permanently in my mind.

My story begins last Thursday, when I woke up 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant, to feel, once more, a very defined ball of a head right up under my rib cage. After everything, it seemed our little baby decided to return to a breech position. About one week before I anticipated going into labor. It so happened that I had an appointment with my midwife, Amy, that afternoon, so I decided I'd let her confirm my suspicions. She did so with a wry grin, feeling around on my stomach, identifying feet, hands, and yep, a breech positioned head. After some discussion, we decided to attempt to turn the baby via external cephalic version.

After some gentle manipulation, it became clear that the baby had a foot/leg in such a position down by my right hip bone that it just did not want to move. So we let it be, and the plan was for me to get an ultrasound that afternoon or Friday morning and then try to turn the baby again Friday afternoon. Meanwhile, do some inversions that night to see if I could get it to turn on its own. Oh, and of course, some moxibustion. At that appointment, Amy, Kyle and I discussed every possible scenario and every fear, question, concern, etc. that was on our minds at the time. Just talking through all the possibilities gave me a peace, in spite of the sticky situation I felt we were in.

I found out pretty quickly that our plan wasn't going to work perfectly because the ultrasound person Amy uses was leaving town Thursday evening until Monday. The earliest we could get an ultrasound, or attempt to turn the baby manually was Monday. Even with all that, I felt peace. Still, with the peace, the atmosphere in my house Thursday night was one of whole-hearted determination. We hauled an old door out of our attic, propped it against my bed and I lay on the door with my head at the bottom for 20 minutes while Kyle read a book to me and the kids.

A sideways baby as it moves from breech to vertex position

While lying there, I could easily feel the baby's position, and during that 20 minutes, I watched and felt the baby's head move slowly from the top of my ribs, around my left side and down to my left hip. It was unbelievable. I called Amy, who was equally amazed and thrilled that we'd seen it work so quickly! Just to be sure, we did another 20 minutes right before we went to bed and 20 minutes of moxibustion. But by the time I went to sleep, I was confident that head was back down.

I saw Amy again Friday evening and she felt the baby's position once again and confirmed it was head down. But definitely not engaged in my pelvis. Just floating up above it. We both prayed that the baby would stay positioned down till the birth...such drastic movements from the baby at this late date in the game was something Amy said she never ever saw. I was just thinking if I could get through another week with it head down, it should be ok, since I usually went into labor at 39 weeks.

Saturday night, I met my Ladies' Group for dinner at Mellow Mushroom. Several weeks back, I had pondered aloud to Kyle whether just being around my dear friends might put me in labor a few weeks early! My ladies are a bunch of experienced home birthers and like-minded mommas who understood my concerns, hopes, fears and anxieties. I knew we would talk through it all, they would understand and encourage me and it would be so cool if they were part of the labor process! However, at the end of our evening, nothing happened other than a wonderful time with the ladies, and I headed home, very much not in labor.

I woke up Saturday night at 1:30 in the morning to get up to pee and had the strangest sensation. Like I was already peeing, but I clearly wasn't. Or not intentionally anyway! Stranger things have happened. (Disclaimer: if you don't like details, stop reading here and skip to the end or something.) It didn't take me long after emptying my bladder to realize that more was happening than just my bladder emptying. My water had definitely broken. And I was 38 weeks. A full two weeks early! And yes, after a quick mashing around on my belly, I confirmed baby was still head down. Shew!

For the second pregnancy in a row, I woke my husband up in the middle of the night with amazement in my voice as I told him I was pretty sure my water had broken. He sprang out of bed and we met in the bathroom to discuss while our other three children slept. As amniotic fluid trickled steadily down my leg, he concurred with my assessment.

I'll confess here that I had a few moments of self-doubt and fear and bewilderment. This was a week earlier than I had mentally prepared to be here. Does that make sense? I had to rapidly readjust my mental readiness. Rapidly. But it's also good to heed the extremely calm, wise voice of your experienced midwife, who, as you wake her at 1:45 am with this exciting news, tells you to go back to bed for the moment and get some sleep before things get going. She first asked where the baby's head was, and then reminded me that I probably wasn't going to have a ten minute labor, and if I wasn't currently having contractions and baby was head down, my best use of time would be to rest my body.

I put my phone close beside my bed to use my contraction timer app, should contractions suddenly start up. And I tried really hard to sleep. About 2:45, I felt the first stirring of a contraction. Barely more than a mild cramp, but definitely the beginning. Definitely not a Braxton Hicks. Baby was still very active, which was good. For a few hours, as I dozed, I would half wake up to hit start on my timer, and stop when they ended. Never more than 30 seconds long, they were about 2 minutes apart, but so mild that it was only enough to know that things had begun. I sent a few texts out to let people know I wasn't going to be able to serve in the nursery the next morning, to get my siblings praying for me and to get my sister-in-law, Anna, on alert that she probably would need to keep Dorien and August Sunday morning. Next thing I know, it's 8:30 and I'm waking up to basically more of the same. Teensy surges that lasted 20-30 seconds and were about 2 minutes apart. Still gushing fluid every now and then, but nothing else. No bloody show.

Last minute Kroger trip Sunday morning

Kyle and I got ready, woke the kids up and explained what was going on, I took a shower, we put our plastic shower curtain on the bed, we dropped the kids off at Anna's and ran to Kroger to pick up some milk, bread and fruit. It was funny because it was one of those moments that feel absolutely surreal. You're doing something ordinary on an extraordinary day. People around you are doing ordinary things, completely unaware that your life is balancing on the precipice of major change, of something huge and miraculous and astounding and you almost can't believe that such sparks aren't flying off you such that everyone around you can see what's going on!

We did run into someone we knew, who happened to ask me if I was getting close to having the baby. I grinned and said, pretty darn! My water broke last night and I'm in early labor. She squealed in delight and according to Kyle, several other shoppers who happened to overhear, looked at us in horror, as though I were going to squat there in the aisle while picking out my plums and apples.

Excitement aside, back home, things just stopped. Nothing had amped up all morning, still the same mild stuff, 30 seconds long at most, 2-3 minutes apart. Then they started getting further and further apart. Through it all, Kyle and I had been communicating with our midwife, Amy, and with Holly, one of my best friends (and part of my Ladies' Group) who was planning to be there as well. She was also present at Dorien's birth - the one who delivered him, actually. She's a midwife apprentice and an extremely extremely experienced L&D nurse here in town. She's golden on every level. Her role at this birth was going to be to make sure Brooklyn was ok - did I mention Brooklyn was going to be present during this birth? Well, that was our plan. Her plan. The plan.

Around noon, I decided to take a nap and lay down. Kyle went to get the kids back from Anna and put on a movie for them to watch while he hung out with me. My parents stopped by on their way home from Fayetteville to pray with us and see what was going on. At the time, nothing. Visiting with them a few minutes was a good distraction. When they left, and still nothing was happening, I ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich with my kiddos for lunch. I suddenly felt really sleepy, and since nothing was happening, I lay down. I think I slept for about an hour - pretty deeply. During that time, my parents came back over and picked up August and Dorien, leaving Brooklyn with us. During my nap I had three strong contractions, each about 20 minutes apart. I woke up around 2 something and I knew that even though nothing had been happening while I was lying down, when I got up, things would really start. I just knew it. I had also prayed earlier that God would allow me to have the baby by 4:00. No reason in particular, it was just a point in the day that wasn't too far away. And I felt like I'd been waiting and waiting for things to really go!

As I got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom to empty my bladder, I felt a pretty decent contraction hit me. By this time, Kyle had become my official timer, using the app on my phone. Still only about 30 seconds long, they were more than they'd been, but nothing like what I knew was coming. Kyle and I meandered around our house, moving clothes from the washer to dryer, chatting with Brooklyn about what was going on, texting back and forth with Holly and Amy...waiting for things to intensify and trying to make the most of gravity and the contractions I was having.

I utilized my Bradley relaxation methods, and Kyle coached me on relaxing every body part, smoothing out my forehead, rubbing my back, encouraging me. It was the perfect day to have a baby, in our opinion. Rain was steadily pattering down outside, it was grey and cloudy, calm, peaceful, restful...quiet.

At 2:54, I texted Amy: "took a nap for a bit. I've been walking around and the contractions are getting stronger. 30-45 seconds long, about 1.5 minutes between."

Amy replied: "Sounds good. Drinking plenty of water and keeping your bladder empty?"

Me: "Yes"

Meanwhile, I really didn't feel confident about having Amy drive over yet. I honestly felt like I wasn't progressing or working really hard yet and I was afraid she'd come and just twiddle her thumbs while the labor dawdled. I was walking around, swaying my hips like a belly dancer, slow dancing with Kyle every now and then through a contraction. It felt so good to just move gently. And I could tell the baby's head was engaging more, because I wasn't gushing as much fluid. Things slowly began to stir.

At 3:05 pm, I texted Holly: "Contractions are getting much harder, 30 seconds long. We don't know when to call you/Amy. Care to come assess?"

Her reply: "Absolutely!"

Holly lives right around the corner from me, so around 3:15, she came in to the bathroom where Kyle and Brooklyn and I were timing the contractions while I sat on the pot, emptying my bladder and relaxing my body. I could feel the intensity of each contraction centered around my low pelvis, so I worked really hard to relax my belly and bottom. I still had this bad feeling I wasn't dilated much, because I had virtually no bloody show and while things were picking up, I felt like they could get a lot stronger. I told Holly that as weird as it might sound, even though the intensity was making me work, it sort of felt good. She grinned and said she knew just what I meant.

In between contractions, Holly checked me (my first and only time) and to my surprise, I was dilated to 5cm! That was super encouraging news! She immediately texted Amy to get over here now! Things were on the move!!! Holly also knew from her experience at Dorien's birth, that I have a history of going from 2cm to 10 in five minutes flat. So my personal assessment of not doing much meant that things were, in fact, flying!

Between contractions, I relaxed and enjoyed having my beloved husband at my side and my sweet daughter there. Her presence was very precious. She followed Holly's lead and her Daddy's and stroked my hands and fingers and just watched closely. By this time, in order to really focus on relaxing and keeping my body loose, at the peak of each contraction, I would either moan or gently blow air out or blow my lips like a horse. I had read in a childbirth book by Ina May Gaskin that blowing "horsie" bubbles is fabulous for relaxing your bottom. You can't have a tight bottom if your mouth is really loose. And you aren't going to dilate very quickly if you're tight. Seemed effective. I also gazed into Brooklyn's eyes during a contraction or two, just drawing strength from the innocence and love and trust she was beaming back at me. As the contractions ebbed away, I'd make sure she knew I was ok. That this was all part of it, that it was not that bad. In fact, it was beautiful.

A few minutes after Holly checked me, after an intense contraction, I had this crazy urge to just laugh. I was sitting on the birthing ball, arms resting on my bed, Brooklyn nearby, Kyle behind me and I said, you guys are gonna think I'm nuts, but I have to laugh! Holly chuckled and said, "Girl, if you're getting good endorphins from all this, then go for it!" So I did. I just belly laughed for a few seconds. Probably slightly hysterically. It was a new way to enter transition for me, that's for sure. But not a bad way!

Then I really had to pee, so I waddled into the bathroom, did my business, waddled back out and was hit by a feeling of such intensity that I couldn't figure out where to go. I dropped to the floor to put my hands on the birthing ball, but no, that didn't work. I pushed the ball aside and put my arms on the bed. Nope, not that either. I felt like I wanted to bend my knees, but then not at the same time. Instead, Kyle moved in front of me and I stood up and began to drape my arms around his neck. The contraction morphed on me and suddenly I needed to push. It wasn't a pushing contraction, per se, it was just - time to push. I grabbed his shoulders, in what he fondly recalls as a "violent slow dance", and said, "Holly!!! Pushing!" She sprang into action and said, "Yep, ok, if that's what your body is saying, go with it!"

Amy and Kim, the second midwife, still hadn't arrived, so Holly utilized Brooklyn to assist her with ripping open our box of supplies, pulling out chux pads and laying them on the floor, getting blankets and towels handy. As I began to bear down, lost in that haze of urgent action propelled by a force greater than yourself and as elemental as it comes, I vaguely noted Kyle telling Brooklyn to gently get her hands out of her ears and to get Holly what she needed. I found this funny, even in my state of disassociation.

This may be too much information, but if you've stuck with me this far, then you're too far to back out now, right? So I'm wearing a nursing bra, tank top and a cute little peach pair of Depends as we are in this final moment. Oh yeah. Sexy. But when you're in labor, and amniotic fluid is gushing out and soaking everything, you find wearing a pair of adult diapers not so much demeaning as utterly and totally practical. Even if your 7 year old daughter finds it hilarious.

So back to the moment. I've got a death grip on Kyle's shoulders and I am trying to obey my body and I sort of bear down, but not too much and I immediately realize there is something bulging significantly from my peach Depends. Another aside here: I had a discussion with Amy a few days prior about ways to prevent tearing during delivery. Particularly if you've torn before. She said that the most effective way of doing that is, at the critical moment of crowning, right before the baby's head emerges - instead of bearing down hard and pushing the head out, as you are inclined to do - reach down and touch the baby's head and it somehow suddenly grounds you - pulls you back to the moment and you are able to pause and let the head be born without applied force. It's the force applied during that moment that results in tearing.

Somehow, these words zoom through my mind and I reach down, thinking maybe I'd feel a little part of a head, but I'm shocked to realize that I'm feeling almost a whole hand's width of baby head in my palm. And I'm still wearing that crazy diaper. Holly runs around behind me and is trying to rip the thing off. I keep a hand on that head between my legs and made myself relax. Next thing I knew, the whole head was in my hand. I was shocked. Holly told me to take a deep breath and I did, and I pushed a real push this time and slither, swish, zoom, a body slid out of me in one slippery gush and I was holding it in my hands. Holly was frantically making sure everything was all good, and I was holding a very messy little BOY up to my body. I managed to move the umbilical cord out of the way to assess gender. I immediately asked Kyle what time it was and he checked the phone: 3:43pm.

Holding my freshly born son, Holly did a quick suction of his mouth and he let out a wail. I talked to him and held him tightly to me as Kyle and Holly tried to figure out where to go with us. They managed to turn me around and get some towels on the bed so I wouldn't ruin it. And my little guy immediately started rooting around. I had Holly and Kyle help me get my clothes off so I could latch him on and he did immediately. Brooklyn, during this whole thing, was just mesmerized. In awe. And slightly shocked that she didn't get the sister she was wanting. But also really ok that this cute little guy was her new brother.

Right around now, Amy ran into the room and said, "Boy, you do things fast, don't you!!!" I grinned at her and said, Uh, I think I need to push again. She said, "oh my gosh, already? And it's a boy? And he's already latched on? And you're thinking the placenta is coming? Wow." A few minutes later, as my baby continued to nurse, I delivered the placenta and felt like a new woman.

The remainder of my day passed in a blur of loveliness. After so many hours of just waiting for the race to begin, it began and ended almost at the same time! And out of it, I was blessed with a fourth child, a third precious son, who was an amazing 2 weeks early, absolutely perfect and already a champion nurser. We eventually weighed him, assessed him, cleaned us all up and introduced him to his other brothers who were pretty darn excited about another boy.

We named our little son Wyeth Bright. He weighed 7 lbs, 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. For comparison, Brooklyn weighed 6-14, August weighed 8-3 and Dorien was 9-1. Instead of following trend and getting a 10 pounder, I was thrilled to get a genuinely small little boy. One that will actually wear newborn clothes for a few weeks!

We are officially two days into our new family of six, and we are all so in love with him. Sleeping arrangements are not yet finalized, as we don't have the heart to kick Dorien out of our bed yet. It's a big enough adjustment for him to suddenly not be the baby. We're making sure everyone is affirmed and loved and hugged and kissed and made aware of their unique and special and precious roles in this family.

And I'm still reeling over what turned out to be my fastest, easiest labor yet. About 30 minutes of hard labor and sort of 2 pushes and a baby? It is as surreal as it seems. And I'm so thankful Holly was there, otherwise Brooklyn would have not only witnessed her first birth, she'd have her first true experience as the midwife she says she wants to be.

How has being present at the birth affected her? I think it has matured her to some degree, as it naturally would. And it has bonded her and me in a precious way. She has seen the reality and beauty and miracle of a birth and knows it is something beautiful, not something to fear. She understands that it didn't happen the exact way she pictured, but not the exact way I'd pictured either. And she was important to the event. And I hope it will positively shape her view of birth from here on out.

Wyeth and I are doing well. My milk is coming in and he's nursing regularly and with a finesse that is impressive. We're soaking up this week of being together all as a family and adjusting our schedules to life with a newborn. I am so blessed and honored and happy and of course, sleepy. What a beginning.

I hope you haven't been too grossed out by this story of ours. I happen to think it's lovely and beautiful and miraculous, as is each and every birth God allows to happen.

Thank you for sharing it with me and I hope you get to meet my little Wyeth very soon. His story has just began and I intend to continue to share as much of it with you as I can.

Head up, Head Down

Home birth 3:02 PM

36 weeks

Every pregnancy is different, they say. Just as every child is different.

My personal experience with pregnancy is that each of mine aren't really that different from each other.

Except that with each subsequent pregnancy, the degree of misery I've experienced in my first trimester has increased exponentially.

The thing that threw me for a loop this pregnancy was that around week 32, when the baby should start thinking about turning head down, this one didn't. At week 32, at the recommendation of my midwife, I began religiously doing the five exercises she advises to keep the pelvic bones loose, open and baby-head friendly. Those exercises are as follows:

1) The cat/cow maneuver (a yoga move)

2) Drawing figure 8's with my hips while on hands/knees

3) Figure 8s with hips while standing

4) squats and

5) lunges.

36 weeks - front view

As the weeks clicked by and I could tell this baby was still head up, although extremely active, I started getting nervous. Obviously, as the baby gets bigger, the amount of room it has to move about lessens and it becomes more likely to stick in whatever position it is in.

I have also learned from my midwives that with each subsequent pregnancy, it's more common for a baby to remain head-up longer, simply because there's more room in the uterus. The uterus has been here before and as a result, the baby just can move about more, and later. Most midwives take a proactive approach beginning around week 32 (with hip opening exercises, etc) and ramp up the interventions as the due date approaches.

As a side note, one main difference between care from a midwife versus an obstetrician is that midwives do lots of Leopold's maneuvers, which is the process of manually determining the baby's position in the uterus. Most OBs do very little of this. Most midwives do this as soon as the baby is big enough to feel. And at each visit, they keep a record of how the baby is positioned and whether that changes, etc.

the actual 36 week belly

A few weeks ago, I got really nervous. I could feel a little ball of a head up under my ribs, and although I would wake up in the middle of the night to feel that ball of a head at a 3:00 or 9:00 position, and occasionally at a 5:00 position, every morning it would pop back up to 12:00. Grrr.

I found a website called Spinningbabies.com, which is all about things you can do to help a baby get into optimal positioning for birth. Turning posterior babies anterior...turning breech babies head down...

It was extremely informative and with the ok of my midwife, I started implementing more of those interventions:

Elephant walking, inversions on an ironing board, headstands in the pool, continuing my daily swims, elevated hip positions...on top of my regular visits to my chiropractor which is a highly recommended thing for all pregnant woman. Misalignments in your pelvic and hip bones can contribute to posterior babies and breech babies. Just an FYI.

I should not leave out here that first and foremost, I've been praying that God would position this baby properly for a natural delivery. A c-section was/is the last thing I wanted.

In the world of breech babies, there is a timeline for taking action.

About week 32, you begin (or continue) all your hip-opening activities.

Between weeks 34-35, there is something called Moxibustion which has statistically proven to be highly effective at turning breech babies.

If at week 37, baby is still breech, you typically get an ultrasound to determine baby position, location of the placenta and then you attempt to manually turn the baby. This is called External Cephalic Version, and it happens to be something my midwife is adept at. Look it up on youtube sometime....it's kind of crazy to watch it being done.

Anyway, about a week ago, I kept coming across the whole Moxibustion thing. It was something I'd vaguely heard of, but didn't know much about. It's an acupuncture treatment, minus the needles. It involves burning a stick (like an incense cigar) of moxa (mugwort root) just to the outside of your pinkie toes, pointing the heat at a specific spot (Bladder 67) which has been proven to impact the baby's movement in the uterus. Now, I could have gone to an acupuncturist, but really didn't want to pay for a visit, so I researched moxibustion on my own and ended up buying some moxa sticks on Amazon. They're really inexpensive! Studies indicate moxibustion has a 75% effectiveness rate of turning a breech baby compared to a 50% rate of babies turning on their own. Not a bad stat. And more importantly, it was non-invasive and couldn't hurt anything.

A week ago Friday, my moxa sticks arrived and that evening, Kyle became my Moxa Man! I got in a comfy position on our bed and made sure the kids wouldn't accidentally bump Kyle and scorch my poor pinkie toes. Then he lit the moxa stick, using a candle, and alternated holding the stick at the outside edge of each of my pinkie toes for 5 minutes at a time, for a total of 20 minutes. This is gonna sound so weird, but the minute he got the stick close enough to my toe to feel the heat, the baby literally lurched. It continued to squirm and wiggle over the 20 minutes. After that, I went to bed.

They recommend you use the moxa sticks before bed because if a baby is going to turn, it's more likely to do so while you're sleeping. Ha! That night, the baby was so active it was almost impossible to sleep at all. I kid you not. The baby moved ALL NIGHT LONG. I couldn't say that I felt it had turned or anything...it just moved a lot. A whole lot.

We continued the moxibustion treatment Saturday night and Sunday night and I had my 36 week home visit with my midwives on Monday. I also had my 36 week required visit with a nurse practitioner midwife that same morning. The NP couldn't say for certain, but she was pretty confident she was feeling a head down baby. Later that afternoon at my home visit, my other three midwives palpated the dickens out of my belly and all of them concurred that the baby was head down. I can't tell you the relief I felt hearing them all agree on this matter. I still need to be proactive in helping the baby find that happy spot and engage in the pelvic bones, but just not feeling that distinctly round little head up by my ribs is a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

So, if you're ever in a position where you have a breech baby, or know someone who does, reassure them that there is a whole range of things that you can do to promote turning. There are circumstances where the baby just won't or can't turn and a C-section is, unfortunately (in this state anyway) unavoidable. But for the most part, there are options and possibilities and you just never know what might be the catalyst. I'd start with prayer and an active recruitment of prayer warriors. And in addition, keep an open mind to proven techniques. Was it moxibustion in our case? Hard to say....but I'm definitely not the skeptic I once was.

Heartbeat

baby 8:35 AM

A Home Birth Story (in words)

Dorien 8:47 PM

At long last, I can tell you that the baby has been born! Praise the Lord! We are now the proud parents of a new little boy - Dorien Valor. He was born at exactly 12:00 pm on Thursday after a ridiculously short and altogether pretty awesome labor. Here's the story...

I was 39 weeks on Tuesday and as the clock ticked by, it became apparent that Tuesday would pass without my going into labor. I was officially past when I gave birth to both Brooklyn and August (both right at 39 weeks). And I was really hoping that didn't mean I'd actually make it to my due date. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I was just so ready to have this baby!

A (minor) concern during this pregnancy has been that the baby would be born posterior, or sunny-side up, meaning I'd probably have back labor. Do-able for natural labor, but not preferable. I was pretty sure the baby's back was running down my left side, meaning we were in good position, but sometime on Wednesday, I suddenly felt like it was in a different position. I called my midwife in training, Holly, who happens to live super close to me and asked her if she could swing by and feel the baby's position. She dropped by on her way to work at the labor & delivery unit that evening. From what she could tell, the baby's position was still good. And she said it looked like it had gotten lower, but could I please not go into labor that night since she was working, but maybe tomorrow?? I made her no promises. :)

Around 4am Wednesday morning, I woke up to go to the bathroom and thought I was feeling some achiness in my lower back. Given my worries about back labor, I got down on my hands and knees to do some pelvic tilts, hoping to make sure the baby wasn't moving back around. I felt fine otherwise, no real contractions, nothing to make me think anything was really brewing. I sort of had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, that back achiness was a sign of early labor, but I was definitely not getting my hopes up given the two previous nights of solid contractions that turned into nothing.

I crawled back in bed with August (my sleeping buddy lately) and went back to sleep. I awoke at 6:00 am to the sound of a pop. Puzzled, I lay there wondering what it was. I vaguely recalled reading the day before in my Bradley book that when your water breaks, it can sound like a balloon popping. Skeptical, I got up to go to the bathroom and immediately, a gush of fluid confirmed my suspicions. My water had broken!

I told Kyle and then texted my midwives. Holly was just getting off work and Mary said to let her know when contractions began. I went back to bed to try to rest some more. Around 7:15, contractions began. Not too bad, but definitely not Braxton-Hicks. They were around 20 seconds long and 5 minutes apart. I called my mom and dad and said, today's the day! Kyle and I woke the kids up, packed them a backpack to spend the day at DD's and next thing I know, Mom had walked over to my house to get the kids, Holly was at the door to check on me and we were off and running.

When Holly checked me around 8, I was 70% effaced and dilated to 2. She went back home to get some sleep herself after her night shift and said Mary would be checking on me shortly, but that if things drastically changed, to call her immediately. Meanwhile, just do whatever I wanted! (Let me insert here how lovely it was to know that I didn't need to rush off to a hospital. I was in my comfort zone and it felt completely right).

So I ate an orange, started a load of laundry, took a shower, tidied up the house, Kyle and I put the plastic shower curtain liners on my bed and Brooklyn's bed and put old sets of sheets on each bed (I wasn't sure which bed I'd be more comfortable in when the moment of truth came) and I had Kyle vacuum the house for me. As I was doing all this, the contractions were getting stronger and longer and a little closer together. About 2 minutes apart, 30 seconds long.

Mary texted me around 9:30 and asked how I was doing. She said she'd cleared her schedule for the day and could come over whenever I was ready. I wasn't sure what to tell her...I was worried that if she came now, then she might have hours to wait while things progressed. This being my first home birth, I wasn't sure what usually worked. Mary said, well, when your contractions are 60 seconds long and about 2-3 minutes apart, I need to be there. They were headed that direction, so I said, come on over! Holly actually got there before Mary, around 10. She walked up the stairs to find me slumped against the laundry closet riding out a contraction. I was no longer smiling and talking - we were getting down to business.

At 10:15, Holly checked me again and I was still dilated to 2, but 100% effaced. She said for me to fully efface in that short of time was pretty quick, particularly since I still didn't feel I was working all that hard. In previous labors, I'd done most of the laboring lying on my left side in the Bradley "running man" position, but this time, I was waiting for contractions to get really hard before doing that - I wanted to use gravity as much as possible. So I sat on an exercise ball and draped my arms over a stack of pillows while Kyle sat behind me, digging his fist in the small of my back when a contraction hit. Intermittently, I was going back and forth to the bathroom as the baby moved down and my bladder was smushed! I would go in there and immediately be barraged by a series of really strong contractions. Around 10:30-10:45, I sensed Mary had arrived, but I was too focused on my contractions to even indicate that I noticed her. She was her usual, efficient self and just started setting things up, documenting how things were going. I'd say it was right about then that I hit transition.

I stood in the doorway of the bathroom completely unsure what to do next, whether to sit on the ball, climb in bed...I was frozen. In the back of my mind, I recognized this as a sign of transition, but was too focused on relaxing completely during contractions to think further. I do remember thinking, I really hope this doesn't go on all afternoon!

Around 11:15 or so, Holly checked me and said I was dilated to 6-7. I was having really hard contractions and barely had time for her to check me before having to shift over to my left side to relax during the next one. They were checking the baby's heartbeat with the Dopplar and suddenly I sensed a feeling of concern in the air. Apparently, I was moving so fast that my uterus wasn't letting up and giving the baby's heart time to recover. It's heartrate was dipping pretty low. Mary said, Ashley, I need to check you again real quick and then we need to get you in a different position. This was about 2 minutes after Holly had just checked me and I was now 8-9 cm dilated.

They had me get on my knees with my upper body draped over the exercise ball on my bed while they brought an oxygen tube up by my nose to let me breathe some good oxygen. After a few deep breaths, which were hard to do when trying to focus on relaxing during contractions and you feel a baby's head moving lower and lower....the baby's heartrate picked back up.

I had one contraction in that position and then I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to push! Kyle was at the head of my bed with me, holding my hands, whispering encouragement to me. I could tell Holly and Mary were completely shocked that I was already ready to push, and I sensed rapid preparations being made to greet a baby!

I had one pushing contraction and, per the Bradley method, took 2 deep breaths without pushing, then pushed hard on the next 2 breaths. On the first push, the baby crowned...the second push, the head was almost out. I actually had about 30 seconds of rest between that push and my next contraction. I concentrated on breathing and thinking, we're almost there...we're almost there....

The next contraction, I pushed hard and then relaxed and out popped a head! The next breath I pushed and a lovely little body slithered out. I looked down to see a little body with boy parts! I was completely flabbergasted! This was a boy!!!! Not at all what I was thinking!

And it was done. My son, Dorien Valor, was born exactly at 12:00, making my serious labor only an hour and 45 minutes long. It was hard, but fast. Intense and challenging and incredibly rewarding.

I got to hold Dorien's body against mine for awhile, still connected to each other by the umbilical cord. When it finished pulsing, they cut the cord. Dorien latched on and started nursing and a little bit later, I pushed out the placenta. The rest of the afternoon passed in a blissful blur. My midwives cleaned up, changed my sheets, brought me warm towels, drew me an herb bath, assessed my little baby, stitched me up, brought me a snack and all in all, made my whole experience absolutely perfection.

By the time they left, Kyle and I sat alone in our house, holding our new baby, just resting and praising God for such a beautiful experience. It was the most beautiful way to have a baby. Perfection.

And now, I have been pleasantly surprised to find out the extent of the after-care provided by the midwives. They came back over to check on me and Dorien 24 hours later, will come back tomorrow, in a few more days and within a week. I am in really good hands. I cannot tell you how incredible this whole experience has been. It has been such a blessing to both me and Kyle. He's as sold on home birth as I am!

Sigh. So, now I apologize for taking so long to tell you all about my home birth experience. And I say good night, because I hear my little man calling my name upstairs. Time to nurse!

Good night, all...