Busy Days and Life Without Daddy

3:12 PM

I recently took a Design test to see what it said about how God designed me. 
Now, I'm not entirely 100% on board with the results of any test like that, simply because I think the answers may vary given the day of the week, time of day or mood you're in. Maybe not a HUGE difference, but possibly enough to alter the results a bit.

In my case, this one particular test said that I am 100% Achiever. I have elements of other things, but what this test was telling me was that I am wired to achieve. And in fact, have the process and mind-set of "achieving" utterly down pat. There are other things I am currently working on, apparently, but how to achieve isn't one of them. I am happiest when achieving. 

So here's something I'm learning about myself, in this stage of my life, that is slightly unsettling:
given this stage in my life and the choices we've made about home-schooling and stuff, there are days, possibly even WHOLE WEEKS when my "achievements" look a lot like....well, nothing.

I may start out with an ambitious list of what I will accomplish and get, oh, maybe 2 of them checked off. 

Meal Plan
Grocery Shopping
Work out
Inventory Baby Clothes
Move Dorien's clothes to his big boy room
Feed Chickens/Gather Eggs
Trim plants on back deck

I'm learning to not let this bother me quite as bad as my "Design" Test indicates it should.
I'm realizing that sometimes, doing school is quite enough to fill up one day. Particularly when you factor in how many times you have to break to change a poopy diaper, fix some snacks, fix lunches and run pee yourself...

What I should do is maximize my time by getting tons done while the kids take naps. But what just as often happens is that I sit down beside Dorien and immediately fall asleep myself. Sometimes for 3 hours. I chalk it up to being very pregnant. Which often feels like quite the achievement on its own. As anyone who's ever been pregnant can attest to.

So here it is already a Thursday and I feel like I've lived 3 weeks inside this one. Even with a holiday thrown in. Because I have a hard time figuring out how to cram 5 days of school into 4 (that is entirely my Achiever part) and particularly when you fit in a midwife appointment, a chiropractor appointment, a piano lesson and Daddy being out of town for 3 days. It's tiring. That could explain the 3 hour nap. 

I find that when Kyle is out of town, we stay up later and eat later (and stranger)...we do odd things like go to the gym at 8:00pm so I can swim laps in some peace and quiet before gym childcare closes. We watch movies instead of getting ready for bed which means we sleep later. We burrow in like nesting bunnies and wait for the return of Daddy Bunny.

Normally, at this time of day, I'd be watching the clock thinking about when Kyle will pull in. But with him gone, I sit here on the bed beside a sleeping Dorien and think about how I'll try to make my evening productive since my day has been all about school and changing diapers and hilariously, walking like an elephant on my hands and feet to convince this baby I'm growing to turn head down. 

I praise God for designing us with a healthy degree of give to our nature, because without that give and flexibility, I'd be going crazy these days.  Instead, I'm learning that it's ok to bend and not cross off lists and instead, to enjoy the process of homeschooling, being a mom and a wife and a raiser of chickens and find myself full and content (if not 100% the achiever) at the end of each precious, busy day. 

I'm glad I wasn't necessarily given the life I thought I signed up for, because I continue to find that the life God has blessed me with is so much richer and fuller and more satisfying than anything I could have crafted out of my imagination. I hope you find the same to be true.

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