Worth the Read
9:18 PMYet another late night over here. By my choice. As I've said before, my "me" moments usually take place late at night, although I was able to get in a run by myself tonight that was much needed. I even borrowed a friends' Blue Heeler "Hobbes" who is so well trained that he runs off-lead beside you and keeps perfect pace with you.
I used to run with Bailey, but never off-lead. That felt completely luxurious, to be honest. And I felt much safer. I was running after dark and by a lake, and there are lots of shadows, but I felt completely safe with Hobbes there. I also run without headphones or anything, so I'm tuned in to sounds around me. Anyway, that is so not the point of this post!
This post is to share with you a letter I stumbled upon tonight. I was looking for information on homeschooling and stumbled upon a link for good homeschool blogs and somehow, after flicking around several, landed on this one: FIMBY. Turns out the first post I read of hers was this letter, titled, "An Open-Hearted Letter to Moms of Young Children."
It spoke to me as only something divinely inspired can. It spoke to places in my heart that I don't verbalize. That I pray about but leave in my head. It felt like this...
Brooklyn was running down the stairs the other day and slipped and wiped out. She banged her little knee and I know it hurt. But she is stoic and hates to break down and was putting on a brave face. My little girl needed to cry, though. I pulled her to me and said, Baby, I know that hurt. It is totally ok to cry. And she just broke down, face sagging, tears instantly streaming down her face, letting out that hurt, embarrassment, all of it. It just rolled off her in waves and I soaked it up, or tried to, as I held her in my arms.
This letter had that effect on me. Maybe it will on you, too. I know it's not easy being a mom with young kids. We all put on brave faces and try to act like it's all ok, it's all fine, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother us, we're ok. But girls, sometimes, you just gotta let it all out. It's ridiculous to feel like we're bad moms because we don't blog every 5 minutes with the most fantastic photographs or hilarious stories about our awesome lives (sometimes yes, but always? come on!), or because your house isn't filled with all the marvelous things you've created from Pinterest pins (I am starting to think Pinterest is run by a devious conglomerate designed to make us all feel bad about ourselves), or just because it's easy to see someone who looks like it all comes together for them all the time. Maybe. But probably not.
I love my life, I really do, but there are days that it is not easy. Worth it, yes. Fulfilling, mostly. Exhausting, most certainly. Purposeful...I believe so. Taking it one day at a time, step by step, leaning oh so heavily on my Savior? No doubt about it.
So, take a visit to that link up there and maybe it will warm your heart and refill your cup as it did mine.
1 comments
Let's just have a mutual cry fest then. When I got to the part where you compared my letter to embracing your daughter and letting her cry I choked up.
ReplyDeleteI feel so incredibly humbled that my letter (written in love and published out of obedience to the Spirit) felt like that embrace to you.
I just feel like crying.
Your words mean so much to me because it's like God saying to me "that desire of yours to love and encourage other moms, homemakers, and homeschoolers - that's my heart in you Renee."
I'm floored because I think, what have I to offer? All I know is this gig called motherhood (I never was a professional). And God uses that little thing to bless others and I just feel so humbled and amazed at God's goodness and how he cares for his children.
Wow, that was a bit of a personal comment. But I feel after laying out my heart on that post it's ok.